Ah Christmas. This is the time of the year when I usually noticed people being a little nicer to each other; they usually seem a little happier and friendlier. Usually.
I haven't really noticed it much this year and it makes me sad. I still have people standing in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store so I can't get through even though I know they are fully aware I am standing there because my kid is yelling, "Mama, look! Cookie Monster!" People are still cutting me off in traffic and letting the door slam in my face instead of taking two seconds to hold it open for me.
My two year old has better manners. He at least knows how to say, "excuse me."
I find myself more and more either yelling out loud or saying in my head, "Didn't your parents ever teach you manners? You are a
grown ass adult!"
I love my parents. My parents made sure to teach my brother and I manners.
My parents, like every human being on Earth, are not perfect. Yes, I wish they would have spent more time with me as a kid, I wish they would have taken just 30 minutes out of their day to have a tea party with me or build a fort out of blankets and the kitchen table, I wish they would have paid more attention to me, and I wish they would have played board games with me.
Do you know how badly it sucked for a kid who
loves board games and card games to grow up in a family who refused to play with said kid? I quickly learned that "maybe later," translated to "hell no, go find something to do by yourself." Of course that didn't keep me from trying.
I can count on one hand how many times I played Mouse Trap correctly (as a game with another person) instead of the countless times I pitted the red and blue mice against the yellow and green mice to see who could capture the other first (the blue and red were usually the good guys). I guess I should be grateful that it helped spark my creativity, at least.
Thank goodness for puzzles and Solitaire.
Instead of rebelling to get attention, amazingly enough I just accepted that I had to entertain myself and eventually started to enjoy being alone. Despite being lonely and feeling like I didn't fit in with my family, I learned a valuable lesson: to be comfortable with myself. I know so many people who aren't comfortable being alone and have to constantly have people around them and I am grateful. And I am grateful that it helped me learn how to use my imagination and be creative.
I am grateful that I know to teach my son that it's okay to be alone sometimes and to be okay with himself. Alone time is therapeutic and healthy. But I am still going to play with him, too.
Yes my parents aren't perfect, but some things they got very right.
Whenever we would go to the store I would witness my Mom holding open the door for a stranger, she would always move out of the way if someone needed to pass her and she would say, "excuse me," and she was always friendly to the people in line with her or the person at the checkout. For no reason. Because she is just a nice person. That always stuck with me.
I find myself doing nice things for strangers for no reason and I think of my Mom.
When I hear my son say "Thank you!" it melts my heard and makes me feel like I am doing something right. Hopefully I am teaching him to do nice things for other people for no reason and just maybe they will remember it and do the same. It's a long shot, but I can hope.
For my son and any future children I might have, I promise to never ignore them and never make them feel like they aren't important enough to pay attention to. I will always build forts, have tea parties, and play dress up them. I won't forget how to be silly.
I promise to not wait until they are adults to let them in and to never make them feel left out. I will teach them the value of loving themselves for who they are and being okay with needing alone time.
And I will teach them to be nice people.
We need more nice people in this world.
Happy Holidays!
