Things that are going through my mind as I try to paint our bathroom at 10pm while husband and son sleep

-Trying to paint left-handed (when I am right-handed) around a toilet = paint in my hair and a crappy paint job.
-This painters tape is misleading and giving me a false sense of confidence. I am getting paint all over the trim. Jesse is going to give me a "F" for effort.
-How is my constant cursing not waking Jesse up? Oh wait, maybe it is...
-This is not going well. I am the worst painter. EVER. Why is Jesse letting me do this? Oh yeah, because he is asleep.
-Wow, I am way too short to reach the top and do a straight transition. There's no way I can bring that clunky ladder in here without waking up the whole house. I am thinking of you here, Jesse and Sam. You're welcome.
-Oh man, these light bulbs sure do give off a lot of heat while you are standing on your sink trying to paint above the light fixtures. Oh, and what's this? The heat just came on and is blowing hot air directly at your head. Awesome.
-Why do I keep thinking I'm seeing a yeti with an ice cream cone and a bowler hat outside? Perhaps I need to open a window and stop breathing in these paint fumes.
-PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINT!!!